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Project: Dr Gabor Mate

"It was a lot more work than I had anticipated."

Biopsychosociological perspective

At the 39 minute mark  of this talk Gabor gives the things people need for positive health. from 18:35 is a great starting point - the child rearing habits of hunter-gatherer tribes. 3 things they do that we don't.

Start by taking notes of

"Very few children are allowed the luxury of both being in a relationship and being authentic."

"Learning is an attachment dynamic." (28:53)

Great explanation at the 52 minute mark about the dichotomy between positive and negative attachments. Also the need to be a nice person can result in cancer.

Gabor reading his mother's diary at 24 minutes
Children form an attachment to electronic machines at 40 minutes

3 minutes into this talk Gabor denigrates about so-called 'evidence-based practice' which ignores much of the evidence as inconvenient, and being left-brain driven just as for language learning (my italics).

Must recommend this talk to Sally. "We live in a toxic culture." 1:21:00

Quote: Addiction is a normal response to abnormal circumstances. (at 9:25 in this talk).

Sports addiction - the reason why we want our teams to win (1:07:57)
Great talk (albeit with poor sound) about peer attachment. In the same talk near the end 1:24:04 someone asks. "What is the role of the educator?"

Why capitalism makes you sick (in half an hour)

Interview where the questioner asks about changing one's lifestyle (at 25:25) Meeting people's needs, and if they aren't met they need to adapt.

OMG Here's why I became an endurance athlete! (at 42:09) and intellectual skills 43:43, and "She was anxious. So she wanted to protect you by controlling you." (52:30)

"So the best thing you can do for your daughter is to work on yourself." 44:40

"The family has to decide: Can I have this person in my life?" (46:53) And if they do, there have to be certain rules.

"When you're used to stress, a stressed state feels normal to you." 11:35 & 35:30 Being rather than doing.

Reptilian freeze 
Mammalian fight or flight
these are both defensive. Can't have growth/learning while in defensive state.
Social engagement mode (34:45)

Overwhelm 2:40:25

Promiscuity is an emotional adaption too

Being in the moment is important because trauma doesn't exist there. Trauma is by definintion not being in the p m. Interpreting the present moment in the light of trauma that happened before.

Looking at emotions, they really have 2 functions only: I want more of this, or I want less of this.

"Dementia is the result of life-long suppression"

"Fear-based response"
"They are not your parents. You don't have to convince them that your perspective is right."
"Anxiety is an attachment alarm"

Emotional competency means staying in the present and not taking things personally.

'Heal' comes from an Anglo-Saxon word that means 'whole'

1:09:25 Schools think they are in the business of giving people skills and facts. No. Their proper business is the promotion of healthy brain development.

For women stressed in pregnancy, their kids' brains don't develop properly. 1:07:50

Gabor on Jordan Petersen 9:01

We always marry someone at same level of trauma we are at.

"Don't work at being the best version of who you can be. Accept yourself the way you are."

On refugees. On forgiveness (heal yourself so that there is nothing to forgive.)
On people addicted to power
Kids teaching each other language


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